please do not ruin my blog
it is my property here
so dun give me any tricks
and please. TAG BEFORE YOU LEAVE
no spamming allowed
and enjoy your trip here!
Saturday, February 14, 2009,7:49 PM
this is first basically dedicated to me? haha okay im a freak at crapping im just gonna write a story .. life's full of ups and downs and yeah we must learn to appreciate it before its wayy to late for us when you have a stead or whatsoever please do treasure them and give it a second thought. on how hurtful it will end and how mean you must be to stop it from hurting to mend back the wound so its no point being emo or whatsoever emotional breakdown is normal. cus we are undergoing puberty and i hope this story can relate to all of you guys
title : never underesitmate her
life the way it is , but it never went what i wanted it to be i am joyln and this is somehow how my life went
i was like any other normal school girl who just ended up in her own new school i had a bf of my ownn we broke up and patched his name was derick a few days ago, we just patched and i wasn't ready for it cus after we broke up i was always thinking YAY! im single again! im being single! and i can do whatever i want ! and can play or flirt with other boys. how did i know without him, my mood would go down by afew percent and with him, my mood would go down too.. something just felt amiss everytime
and i basically. i had to break his heart i didnt want to.. he's just like a pill to me
but when im single, i felt that i had many crushes and didnt know what on earth i was possibly doing .. seeing who treated me well, i will fall in love with him and then when i meet another guy i would too and suddenly i realised myself being a psychopath and asked myself : " what exactly is a crush ? " and i suddenly forgot what it meant how it felt how i was supposed to be im just simply hurt when i forgotten how it felt
and today is valentine's and im probably spending it on my own because im just not sure of my feelings and i know derick is angry with me and in school, i would have friends who have a perfect stead with them who ignores totally about her friends and go with her stead and she just wants everyone to know her thats alll she is just jealous thats all no matter how many friends she has one by one they will hate her
but today. i have to spend the valentine's day alone all by myself in this lonely room
i looked back at the smses he sent back to me im just holding back the tears, not letting it, not allowing it to come out i know im a strong girl but i breakdown easily
i took a penknife out from my friend, jean, pencilcase i started to think that it will end all my troubles because i feel great ..
blood oozed out of my wrist and jean, and dean looked at me they stared at me with a shocked look and i asked : " what ??!" they just walked away
i didnt wash off the blood i just contiuned staring and pressing forcing more to come out i felt happy after that but after awhile, my wrist started feeling weak. and i could hardly move it
but its my actions, i take responsibility of it and noone can stop me from my actions. cus my future, my life, is in my hands
but im just totally hurt by him .. simply.. i think we broke up. and im mean to do that very..
but now. he apologised and vent his anger on me just now.. but... im already hurt what else can he do? hes just a pill that makes me feel that there is warmth in this world just a pill that cures my loneliness
but all i know is learn to love yourself before you learn to love others xD
life may not go as it seems. but if you can't overcome some circumstances and obstacles, how are you going to over come even harder ones in future?
title : i know i can pull through
my name is kelly and i am like a normal teenage girl leading her normal life going to school and stuff.
my life was perfect until 3 years ago....
i heard my parents fighting in the living room late at night while i was simply asleep i was awokened by the deafening screams and shoutings from my parents i took a little peek from the living room and saw them screaming at each other i overheard what my parents were talking about my daddy was outside having an affair and my mommy was upset
the next morning when i woke up i saw my mother in the kitchen taking out a knife, and slashing herself i was young at that time so i was curious and tried
soon after nights of continuous fighting and quarrells. they broke up in the end which brought not only hurt my mother it hurt me too
i did not dare to step into a relationship since then but i mostly hung out with guys
now. i have pulled through but im undergoing this valentine alone
i wonder when i would get back the confidence again to step out into a relationship?
and im gonna be strong
ending here yeahh
so peepos once again happy valentines and last long with your loved ones
and happy birthday to chong jiaenn
changing blogskin and lifting another phrase from vanessa's blog :
On the outside, I appear to be carefree and happy-go-lucky but deep down, I'm not like that. Deep down, my heart is surrounded by the bluest of emotions. Deep down, I struggle to get through life. Deep down, people don't know the real me, the evil one, the pure monster. Deep down, I have times where I just want to end my life in my very own bare hands. Deep down, the real me is caged and has yet to be freed. Deep down, I just want to drop everything else and walk away. Deep down, vivid and sorrowful emotions hide themselves away from the crowd. Deep down, my heart cannot be mended anymore, no one can sew me up. Deep down, all I want is a person who can be there for me for I want to unmask myself. Deep down, my façade is something that cannot be taken off, it's a permanent mask. Deep down, I am all alone on Valentine's Day.
it all ended the most painful valentine's day for me.... xD
